Edible equivalent

of the Shatner reading. Almost.

Good take

on a pretty magical island -- I keep a photo on my desk of our last lunch there, which was absolute perfection.

An intelligent antidote

to the silly post-"Julie/Julia" debate.

comment -- just worth considering.

Or he could have just nattered on

about an umlaut. 

Bigger question?

Why aren't we all fat -- and finally it's addressed.

This fud business

is very complicated.

What does he know?

He only lives/eats/works there.

Better late

than to let a great piece go unread, although you would flip right past it in that scrunched-in magazine. You gotta wonder what happened to copy editors, though: Misspelling Bunyan in the fucking lede?

Love to know

the tipping point. . .

(Gleaned from Chowhound)

Not fud, just uplifting

Eye candy most appreciated when you can't afford new clothes.

Not fud, just excellent

And unfortunately not surprising.

Acerbic is

as acerbic was. Long may E David run. 

Fantasy job

Art & pastry. 

Au revoir to all that?

Maybe not: Two favorites sound as if they're holding up better than fine.

Not fud, just good

The buck never stops with the hypocrite. 

MIT

memories: Some stories are best told visually. 

(Filched from Andrew Sullivan.) 

Not really fud

but rather fascinating. Mrs. Chimp at this point was firmly ensconced in her chair with ashtray at hand.

Not quite enough

to atone for canning Froomkin for BS reasons, but still a very smart move. No loose lasagna there.

Another consequence

of the shutdown of the home ATM. Cheap chicken, however, will always be with us. 

I second this

annoyance.

Texas

the new Dubai.

(Filched from MenuPages Chicago -- we only get the Daily News on Sunday to keep up with murders NYT does not consider news.)

If there's a rule

there's a way around it: the new kugel.

Not fud, just damning

Yeah, where was the outrage? Tbogg is right: send those snowbillies back to the meth farm.  

Ode

to a particular island.

"Biologically defiant"

coffee.

Not fud, but LOL

& posted for non-Twitterists. (He's even wittier in person.)

For once

comments trump column: No kids allowed is a great concept.

Understanding,

I think, why people settle for unripened bananas. 

Lard

and more lard -- great public radio station/site.

"Food is the new fur"

Celebrities stepping in now.

Internet addiction is contagious

(Click to enlarge because I am a digital dunce.)

Not fud, just a good reminder

We've been down Crazy Road before. Even then, though, the rabid foam was not as easy to spread.

No chickenshit

Sherlock. This, unfortunately, only hints at how figures lie and liars figure. Meantime, might be best not to complain about the high price of clean chicken at farmers' market. I'd think. (Photo is also absurdly romantic, too, given how chickens really are raised these days.)

Goat.

Govt catching up to trends. It's what's for dinner. Goat, not trends.

Gullible Americans

always thought you had to drink the bottled water in Eutopia. Then again, my consort and I got very sick in a chateau in the Loire after drinking the tap stuff no one else did. 

Doonesbury

is on a roll this week.

Enviable

Memoir & review both. 

It's not the news

it's the notion. You just gotta wonder where the editors were. (Why one guy getting endless tickets? Who mans 24/7 cart? What is the deli's defense against "instead of" prices that once would have been neutrally set up as "compared" ["with," not "to" -- very different meanings to a copy editor].)

Teh stupid

it fucking burns. Trans fats in lard. All you need to know about how cretinism is not restricted to birdcage liners. 

No such thing

as a free chicken. All issues converging lately.

LOL

No takedown like an indirect takedown. Not once was the word effete typed. 

Not fud, just depressing

Almost atoning for running Turd Blossom in the same spot.

Just what supermarkets were missing

"Apple fries" -- like candy cigarettes, but more insidious.

I'll still eat the stuff

but finally with a guilt smidge -- never worried about the ducks. 

No Dijon mustard

at Denny's? 

Not fud, just smart

One post among many: insurance v health care.

Not fud, just insightful

especially if you consider how universal health care might keep restaurant patrons safer than those disgusting latex gloves. 

You don't want 'em in your kitchen

but in a photo show, absolutely.

Help

is on the way. Scariest part of travel is dreading being wedged against fattest slob in departure lounge.

Chuckle

buried within the latest on the First Mastication.

Old but fascinating

on many levels.

(Filched from Cold Mud.)

Yes, a smile

would kill you. I think Bob and I have seen that second scene more times than we can count. 

World saved

from "blush" wines. 

(Filched from the Food Section)

Next:

the baconizer? 

Wyl-E, king of the kitchen

Not fud, just good

Guy w/two daddies has to be weeping. 

Not fud, just uplifting

And to think he could just be clearing brush for the cameras. 

Even the gentlest among us

had to call horseshit on skinny arms and all. 

Being my own

flack.

Good

diversion.

Not fud, just LOL

Wingnuts -- you get the jokes for free.

Not fud, just sharp

Call it what it is, except these terrorists are too chickenshit to suicide-bomb.

You adjudicate

what you eat. WTF is with these blancmanges?

Onions

and genitals: Dear Cook's. . .

No nuts

like wingnuts.

I could have warned her

Rome when it sucks really sucks.

But force-feeding ducks

is cruel and must be stopped. Having grown up with chickens, I never get the allure of live poultry markets. Especially now.

A scalpel

when a shrink would help. Met a plastic surgeon recently who said one business holding steady lately is carving away folds left from bariatric surgery on patients still fucked up from overeating.

Where to even begin

with this now that it's finally broken through into "real" media? How many others were on the same trips and "reporting" for other holier-than-thou outlets? And this whole look-the-other-way approach to freelancers never fails to amaze me.

Not fud, just sharp

Mr. Five Deferments/I Had Other Priorities will never listen, of course.

Hard to argue

until you wonder why diet sodas will be exempt. They ain't exactly health drinks. 

Worth

the virtual voyage.

Iraq

in flavor fragments.

And they wonder

why everyone has lost faith in newspapers? How revealing is this lede?

Play those old-time

menus.

Ethics

schmethics.

Buffalo sees the green light

Drive around downtown and it's hard to see how chickens would be any worse. 

(Thanks to Astrology Mundo) 

Not fud, just funny

A "voracious reader" upchucks for big bucks.

Not fud, just good

Singing on the Titanic.

Even Colbert has his limits

He talks dog food but knows cat food has to be more palatable.

$2 million for pediatric cancer research

a cookie at a time.

I hate tabbouleh

but virtual is not bad.

If they put non-Kraft mustard

in the MREs, would these braying idiots STFU and enlist already? (Hate to push up the traffic, but they don't seem to get that people will always come to gawk at freaks and pinheads.)

In praise

of meat drippings. 

Pretzels

and Dijon mustard. But what's with the butter in the deviled eggs?

Making McGee

look like McGoo.

One

solution to everything. 

Grownups

are back in charge. Even with cheese. Of course, it's an elitist cheese. 

As the terror subsides

reality bites.

Escalating

the idiocy. I had no idea free choice stopped at the burger counter.

Not fud, just weirdly good

Cracker Barrel should remake it.

Not fud, just weirdly good

Mr. Fish will not drink the Kool-Aid.

Spreading

like pig shit.

Not fud, just perspective

From here to here.

Via.

It's National Celebrate Brits Day

First they ban a frothing lunatic, then they come up with this antidote to the BS. 

(Gleaned from the voracious EatMeDaily)

Fresh idea:

Panzone.

Not fud, but pretty entertaining

and well worth clicking through for the audio. 

Real Americans

don't eat Dijon mustard, of course. 

Where do pigs go

to get their reputation back? (Collective reputation, in case that looks like a grammar problem.)

Feeling

bad about her dreck.

True

love.

Nothing better

than a bad review.

Grazie, Zibibbo.

Not fud, just uplifting

Even though it is an ad.

Not fud, unless you count

nut sacks on this glorious anniversary, six years after war was over. 

Cat food

would be different, I'm sure. 

Fear of swine

The word, not the thing.

Not fud, just good

Ping-pong balls flying. 

Not fud, just revealing

And to think eight years ago we were supposed to bow to a boyfriend snuffer. Go, Hillary, too. 

Kudos to the Chicago Tribune

for this, but what a brutal assignment. Food is the ultimate moving target. Even growing all your own, including olive trees, would not solve all the problems created in the thousands of years since the first fire seared off a nice slow-moving game animal. And not every picture tells the story. Can you say free-range pigs? 

Domino's with extra boogers

& perspective. 

Time for the Pork Board

to commission a new study. Factory farms are trouble with a capital T. 

So much for industrial hogs

being safer than "free-range" swine. 

comment. 

Camera,

meet the world beyond the dinner table. 

MR. KRIST: Sharing a little of yourself is always the best way to go. If you're in a market, buy a little sample of what they're selling, try it, comment on it, and by the time that interchange is over they're smiling and ready when you bring your camera up. The last thing you want to do is try to sneak pictures, because you will get caught.

 

More than you ever wanted to know

about hairballs in the digestive tract. 

Typhoid Mary

will not be taking a day off from the kitchen in this country.

Let the guessing games begin

Who was that bitchy woman? 

Great

minds. . .

Where's

the de Cecco? 

One woman's pork

is another's pound of prevention. 

One obit

Biff Grimes should have written. This is pretty effen lame.

The long udder

of the Camorra.

I'll have

what she's digesting. Seriously??

I guess the ad counts

as fud. But Jeebus, you don't know whether to laugh or weep.

Not fud, just entertaining

No sillier than the real deal, either.

And no one said

a thing to me about it.

The life aquatic

with chocolate.

Chicken

fried, and hiding behind tea bags.

(Filched from Crooks&)

I have many qualms

but this has stuck in my cranial sieve, so it clearly has impact.

(Gleaned from All Hat)

Jonathan Swift

would not quite know what to make of it.

No fud, just sharp

Quick guide to fascism.

Not fud, just good

Somewhere, S.I. Hayakawa is smiling.

Tough

question.

(Filched from Bartcop)

Spaghetti

and hot dogs. Kinda like it.

I'm not going to link

because I hate to drive traffic to them, but the Maroons have really outdone themselves this time, bitching that the food in Cuba is too boring, only rice and beans and pork and chicken. Did they ever stop and consider why that might be? Ugly Americans and fat, to boot. (And WTF is with the bitters in the mojitos? And I assume ice was okay even though salad was too risky?) 

Giving new meaning

to "engulf and devour." 

Taking stock

as a professional eater and coming up a loser: Have only eaten at eight of the 50.

Not fud, just great

I'd settle for OK-Mex food. 

And to think

he is 88 years old. 

Not fud, but definitely LOL

It is possible to parody a parody.

L

OL.

I'm embarrassed to admit

I looked.

Not fud, just good

Idjits. Transparent idjits at that.

Not fud, just good

Pandering to the fringe -- where's that gotten newspapers? 

Good

one.

Holy crap

Woman's Day? I just look at those and think of coffee going cold, though. 

(Filched from David Lebovitz via Facebook.) 

Not fud, just funny

And what all kids inheriting this earth will need to get by.

Speaking of copy editors

Count the screw-ups, starting with the villains in the piece ending up with a company. Jeebus White. 

On a high horse

with no copy editor. Fieri, Ferari, let's call the Pollen off. 

Real

cucumbers.

I think Larry Craig

does this.

(Filched from Eschaton)

Now

we're talking. If only the MTA would do the same, with those guys who sit with their legs in two ZIP Codes as well. 

Bad enough they're meeting

on communal (socialist) property. But it's as if the planners of the Iraq invasion were in charge.

Not fud, just great

Fools with megaphones, the most dangerous kind. 

Good point

but exempting diet sodas is absurd. Tax 'em all. 

Coverage

of their wines and other indulgences is almost as annoying. 

Vicarious

kirs.

The trash

that keeps on trashing. Water bottles are like diamonds. 

Not fud, just damning

Political journalists: Puppets with delusions of independence. 

"Festival

of the testicles."

Not fud, just the crux

of the ugly matter.

They really should

have discovered loose tea.

Issues

ya think? What a hollow little man. 

Not fud, just eloquent

Republican obit. 

(Filched from Tomasky.)

Pimping

pesticides.

Not fud, just math

Throw another tea bag onto the bonfire of stupidity. 

Perspective

How the world eats. Or doesn't.

The sound

of heads exploding. Where were these guys when Go Fuck Yourself was flying around like a turducken?

Not fud, just good

and grim.

Springtime

for Alice.

Not fud, just perspective

If America has one religion, it's greed.

Keeping the world safe

for peanut processors. Love the churches ratting each other out, though.

What fools

these wingnuts be. Jeebus.

The makeover

is incomplete. 

Not fud, but pretty good

It's almost as if they made the damn thing to have it "fixed."

Old

but good.

There's gold

in dirty water.

Okay. Farmed mussels

from freshdirect, $50 extra needed for delivery, it will be. (Tip: Skip ahead past the genuflection.) 

Not fud, just depressing

Giving new meaning to "if it bleeds, it leads." 

Back

from the near-dead: The base camp. 

While I'm distracted

this is sudsy. It would be one thing if the wannabe militia actually did the goddamn dishes. 

Intro

sez it all.

Somewhere in there

there's a crumb.

Not fud

just good. 

April Fool's

forever. I hope. 

Prepare to meet

your accountant. Hmmm. 

Also not fud, just great

S.I. Hayakawa must be so proud, wherever the fuck he is. 

Not fud, just encouraging

It would be enough that he's articulate after eight years of chimp noises. Vision is the bonus. (Can I say it again, that Typhoid Mary was a cook and that health care for everyone might not be a ridiculous idea?) 

Sorta fud

if you think potatoes. Nicely done. 

Why is a country addicted to hot dogs

so squeamish? Now Detroit is the new Flint, 'coon the new rabbit. (Skip the video unless you like your racism with ham.) 

What's beyond

LOL?

A man

after my own liver. 

Polls

you can believe in.

The drawback to power

There's always goddamn lamb on the menu. 

Big

oops.

Sorry, not fud, just fascinating

Never had this problem in the subway, only on the bus, where the signs were more insistent that able-assed folks need to cede space. 

Not fud, just depressing

Why did we all sleep through the 2000 election and the unleashing of Go Fuck Yourself? I can't blame Panchito for everything. 

Not fud, just illuminating

This is where founding fathers pledging lives, fortunes and sacred honor has led. Go, Minnesota judges. 

Long may she run

If I were the praying sort, I'd be on my knees with a bumper-sticker printer. 

I'm so old

I remember when all FOH faces were white. And don't ask about the homophobia in the kitchen. 

Wouldn't brass

be a cheaper medium? 

Not fud, just remembering

Granada, and reading the guy's work near the guy's house. Justice, outsourced. 

And the Porcine Pantload

is getting $800 for exactly what? 

(Gleaned from Josh 8.0)

Not fud, just good

blowback.

The mailing address

of my childhood gets its 15 minutes, foam included. 

Update: The friend of nearly 40 years(!) who alerted me observes: If it wasn't rabid when it walked in, it sure was when it walked out. 

Better late than never

Could put Pfizer et al out of kids' business. 

(Filched from Opinioneater)

I assume the wine

was Wet Dreams. 

Not fud, just amazing

that NPR continues to trot them out for respectful interviews every fucking morning. 

Could you even imagine

the Chimp faced with this menu? 

Not fun, unless you count

going without. Probably the most amazing thing I've learned about the First Depression is that people just quit having kids, which made the baby boom seem more of a boom*. At least now it's safer to abort. 

*Heard it on NPR, not sure what program, no time to hunt it down.

(Gleaned from the Carnival.)

As Biden said

you can't housebreak a puppy on the internet. But you can do better things. 

Sometimes a pizza

is just a pizza. For once I want to believe him wrong.

Hope no one ever tells him

about the urine in the breath mints at the cash register.

What's scariest

is that this happened in a country with national health care. Imagine the same here.

I'd make a joke

about naked emperors, but there ain't enough brain bleach for that. 

Aren't there beets

ready to be harvested yet? 

It's all over

but the stupid. 

Vin

d'cation.

Things could be one hell of a lot worse

At least I'm not in the wine lottery. 

The Brits really are different

Run here, this would have led with "gluten-free." The pleasure principle rules. 

Foie gras

and caviar. Although I believe prison currency is actually canned mackerel. 

Not fud, just revealing

Real reporters at work. 

Pretty bad

when cartoonists have better spelling skills than ex-restaurant critics.

But. But. But.

Obama made a bad joke about the Special Olympics! 

You can rile

an awful lot of the people an awful lot of the time.

Not fud, just sad

Where was the bonus outrage six years ago?

Impossible to top

confit of snark. 

So simple

Bizday reporters might be able to grasp it.

Not fud, just graphic

Legacy. With brand. 

Move over

Jokerman.

Not fud, just excellent

Perspective, perspective. And punctuation, too.

Roquefort

Messy but informative.

Tea bagging

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

IndigNation! Populist Uprising '09 - The Enragening

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

Christ on a tortilla chip

Where to begin? No out-of-pocket expenses in this $40-copay world? Subliminal cheerleading for the worst health care system in the world? Or just the jaw-dropping idiocy of using a fork to scoop out an avocado? 

(Filched from WashingtonMonthly) 

Eating their young

No wonder she's the new Patti Davis. And her mom is a Rush Head. 

The great food city of Chicago

Evidence filched from here.

And that's the least

of its un-attractions.

Dante couldn't have dreamed this one up

Could there be a less hospitable environment for a gangbang? My ears hurt thinking about it.

Not fud, just a great take

on the lapdogs who let Go Fuck Yourself get away with murder. 

Heckuva job

But I guess he had the proper stance on abortion. 

Don't tell her

supermarkets have self-serve checkouts now. . . 

How did they limit it

to 15 fronts? 

Confirming the obvious

Beware "healthy" cooks.

We've come a long way

from the inarticulate pizza boys of my restaurant school days. . . 

And to think

they did it senza the Saint. Not everyone is awed -- the radiocast this a.m. was pretty frank about the "let 'em eat AIG fare" aspect. 

Not really fud, just apt

There is, after all, more of a market in treating diabetes than preventing it.

Not fud, just beyond appalling

What is that criminal doing spouting bullshit on the teevee? 

Call her

absurdly inescapable. Hope the flack gets more than a pesticide-free bonus. 

If Saint Alice really needed

to be introduced to America, "60 Minutes" was not the right pimp. Somehow I kinda think viewers of that musty show are plugged in enough to know she's damn near inescapable. And anyone younger wouldn't be watching. 

When are the 15 minutes up, please? 

Those little things

that mean a lot. I just don't want to dwell on where bloggers I admire go to chow down. . . 

Coke

or Pepsi? Take them all out to the Stewart woodshed. 

Martha Stewart is a better person

than any of us. I would have beaten the jester bloody with a rolling pin. 

Why they fear kebabs

They might have competition for their finest restaurants:

". . . The sautéed veal with asparagus was at least as good as any I've had in New Jersey, but the breaded and deep-fried lamb chops were teamed with breaded and deep-fried artichokes. All we needed was pommes frites and a cardiologist." 

(I was so much older then.)  

Not fud, just damning

"Jim Cramer isn't an aberration."

Not fud, but no one does it better

And to think I contented myself with imagining he has to keep lying or he'll have to consider what it would be like to be on trial. 

But his greatest accomplishment

was driving the junkyard dog batshit insane with his scoops. 

Read

the fine print. And to think writers have their Twitters in a knot over the Reader's Digest plan to "repurpose" editorial from magazines in other countries. 

I'd feel worse about this

if Americans weren't making so many kick-ass blue cheeses anymore. But Josh is right: They do not belong anywhere near a burger. 

Talk about choosing

your poison.

Lies, damn lies

and advertisements.

Not fud, just excellent

He's pissed.

Funny to think

of people freaking over peanut butter and happily eating cheap bacon. 

Not fud, just enlightening

America: the coming attractions.

Despite where this ran

on the page that reeks of old Kristol lies and fresh Dowd inanity, this seems persuasive. I never worry about eggs from Knoll Krest or pork from Flying Pigs, for good reason. 

Not fud, just good

What it's like to live in the dark. 

(Filched from the Rude Pundit)

Wonder how much

they got for what was left of their souls?

Not fud, just thank you, Al Gore

for inventing the interweb. 

An uninformed consumer

is not always Big Food's best friend. Funny how shitty fast food never causes such hysteria. 

It could be worse

Unaware of loose tea, they could be using Arizona iced.

Not fud, unless you consider

how easily some seem to get away with making shit up about fud, too. 

How bad can the world economy be

when they're baking Barbie into cake and whacking her, too?

Not fud, but applicable to fud sections

How are you going to keep them down with the newsprint when they've experienced enlightenment? 

Not fud, just smart

A woman's place might be in the Treasury Department. 

I wonder if this could have been avoided

with tax cuts and a more business-friendly environment? 

All the world's

The Onion.

Not fud, just worth remembering

The worst four-letter word. 

Seems to me

he lost. Why won't he go away? 

I don't care if it is a stunt

I could never imagine the spawner of the Skank Twins putting down her cig long enough to get her gloves dirty. 

Aw, they're all

in cahoots: How long till the filthy peanut factory is making Handi Wipes for salmonella fud? 

Not fud, unless you consider

how essential good health is to great eating. Something is very wrong with these people. 

Jesus

wept.

From here

to mortgage-backed securities. Or vice versa. Heckuva job, Chimp. 

Not fud, unless you count

what the kids are not getting.

Apparently there's some kerfuffle

over this. I first braved the kitchen when I was in single digits myself, with my schizophrenic, profoundly depressed mom calling out instructions on how to bake a cake as she lay smoking in bed. I'm all for kids cooking. Just don't shove them down my throat like they're Molto Egoettes. 

Not fud, just LOL

The Clintonian revenge.

Back

to the land.

Elves

and cod. 

Why do I find

this more useful than that tired Jane Brody prescription? (No link; don't want to encourage her editors.) 

I admit

even I would be rendered almost mute.

Aerial

assault.

One way

to push up perfume sales in purse-clenched times.

Eyes

on prizes. 

Not fud, just chilling

As evil as we thought they were, they were far, far worse. 

Flip over the rock

and enlightenment might come out. 

Not fud, just LOL

And as Henry Kissinger said, Mom is a woman who knows how to hate.

Lunch

in a circle of hell. The bottled water is a particularly nice touch.

Shades of

"The Pianist." 

All the young administrations

might not need Alice.

Wait

and someone else will do the heavy lifting. 

Not fud, unless you count

the egg being scraped off so many faces in the MSM.

When women

circle-jerk. Enter at your own risk. The smarm is armpit-deep. 

Seen in the Hallmark aisle

A chef shopping for 400 get-well cards.

A sign not seen

in Boston.

Allah forbid

anyone has to confront how the vitello meets the tonnato.

Not fud, just shoot me

And to think I thought Panchito was a buffoon. 

Distillation

of the day: one headline.  But what about the fig and flatulence diet? 

But will it run grilled meat

in July? 

(Filched from Josh) 

(But I could have filched it elsewhere, I'm told.) 

Brain bleach

for anyone who still has a naked Kissinger stuck in his/her cranial sieve. 

Not fud, just galling

From the WSJ funny pages. 

Greenwald puts the blame where it belongs, too: It's "more about our political culture" than about the vile one. But it also says a lot about modern media. Maybe my memories are too misty, but once upon a time crapola like this would been aborted before the linotype guys ever saw it. 

Not fud, just pretty good

Too bad there can't be a role for "Joe" the "Plumber." 

Little

laugh.

When salmonella is the problem

the solution is always: Buyer, be more careful. Cleaning the crap system up? Not an option. 

When breath mints

fail. 

Not fud, just smart

Stick a fork in them. 

Crust

pizza.

I can only hope huckleberries

were chosen as an inside joke. When the hell are they in season? And where? 

Sometimes the news is in the noise

and sometimes it's in the comments. 

Not fud, unless you consider

all those gleaming all-electric kitchens that make people so proud. 

Image of the day

"A potatoe lodged in her gob."

Not fud, just nicely done

And applicable to more than cars. 

The rot

is going to take a long time to root out. 

(Filched from Crooks and Liars)

Not fud, just a backlash

against NPR et al: the fuckers lost. Why do you care what they have to say?

Nobody

could have predicted.

Not fud, just very smart

Beast has been starved long enough.

Tossing

the (egg) salad.

Not fud, just smart

Similar thought occurs to me every a.m. 

As they say in Grenada

I in that. WTF? 

Reaping

what they sowed: Total assholes were at the front the one time we tried to go. 

No one could have

predicted . . .  

Not fud, and that's the problem

Could you imagine no painkillers either? 

Good eating

is complicated. Greed is not. 

Not fud, just has its moments

Decent routine, clueless audience.

Trees

to be wasted. And not in a good way.

Not fud, just revolting

And the perp is strutting around as free as balls in boxers. 

(Gleaned from Atrios.)

VD

American style.

It's a jungle

in the grocery store.

Or not. 

It's all about

the alimentary canal.

Not fud, just the first good laugh

in a full week. 

Not fud, just extremely cathartic

Jury duty for all.

Maybe the world

would heal without humans. 

More drunken

elephants. A herd of them.

There's pork

and then there's piggishness. 

(Gleaned from the Carnival.)

Anyone else

find it odd the all-American crop was from China? So much for organic. 

Another round

please. For the koalas. 

Stand by

your 'nuts. Funny that I don't remember anyone asking the execs to drink the apple juice back in glory days. 

Okay

I'll bite. Can't be any worse than peanut butter as ingredient these days. 

I'm dwelling

on what the Julie/Julia poster would be . . . 

(Filched from here.) 

Not fud, just great

Sitting in his countinghouses. 

Not fud, just damning

Total lapdogs.

Cauliflower

as fondue. 

Saving

the birdcage liners: The food angle? A click on a strip club/steakhouse review helps underwrite a long tome on Obama's food policy. Oh. Wait. That would all be Alice and speculation and clicks of the first kind. 

Not fud, just long overdue

Punching the gasbags. 

The tradeoff

for good, solid food coverage. 

Not fud, unless you consider

One in 10 Americans are now on food stamps. Maybe more tax cuts will help? 

Not fud, just entertaining

But not funny. People did die while he did not get a blow job. 

Calling Alice

They're whacking money for school nutrition both to grandstand and to pay for high-income tax cuts. Cut the fertilizer for the pie-in-the-sky White House garden. 

Not fud, unless you count

the stamps that were too expensive for Republicans. 

A better idea

than restricting salt. (Last graf seems dropped in from another story, though.) 

Fountain of sorrow

My own private remorse.

Plus one, from 14 years ago.

It's all in

the menu writing. 

Not really fud, but skewering

WFT happened to a press corpse that once would have done this skewering? 

I wish

this was better-written, but it needs to be said.

New emblem

for Wall Street. 

The earliest photos

are the most revealing. 

Not fud, just obvious

Reporters are bend-over boys only for Republicans. 

We live

in a ridiculous country. 

Echoing Digby

This really is the quote of the day if not week.

Not fud, just good

Words have consequences. Imagine. 

All he forgot

was the Purell-wipes for grocery carts. 

And here's to you

Mr. B.

I'll believe it

when I shop it. 

Now that even I have been suckered

into Super Bowl food (for the sake of the O economy, of course), I see the ultimate indulgence. 

Nothing's sacred

Peanut butter in the cat food. 

(Gleaned from Slate.) 

Mr. Updike

goes to Lutece.

Not fud, just perspective

But I know, I know. If we let them keep all their money, they will spend some in restaurants. 

Not fud, just my roots

Can't imagine how my mom from Belfast by way of NYC adapted.

Not fud, unless you count

my endlessly repeated story of the editor at the NYT in 1982 who went bonkers over a story already on the desk about Capitol Hill volunteers passing out sandwiches to the many homeless in DC -- he was bellowing, "We can't run this! It makes Washington look like Calcutta!" Facts really are stubborn things.  

Not fud, just LOL

One legacy.

Pie hole

You can't say it enough (although it's not in the dictionary as one word). 

No end to the evil

the evildoer did. Good thing for Rogue Creamery et al. 

(Filched from the Aristocrats) 

Not fud, just damning

And this doesn't even include NPR's bending over. Didn't these guys lose? 

Good

point. Never realized PETA was run by Turd Blossom. 

Things are bad

when Velveeta starts to look like cheese. Kraft guy should know it's going for at least five times less than real Cheddar, though. 

Not fud, just good

And I just hope to fuck he's right.

Finally

a president who knows how to get a bill passed: First you marinate the legislators. Let's hope the Chimp is choking on his pretzels at the "ranch." 

He could, in fact, write

a cheese book. 

Mr. Thain goes to Hollywood

WTF? 

Forget the White House garden

Why are we ignoring the elephant in the country? 

If only half this energy

could be devoted to real food issues. . . .

Thinking

in bar graphs and Chinese.

An LOL

that keeps on giving.

The kosher symbol

is not the only cookie concern.

I haven't had the nerve

to read it in "print," but they ran it, so here it is. Logo, by the way, is by the inimitable Stephen Kroninger. Those were the good old days when his work ran in DI/DO. . . 

Where the margarita was born

and something else is ending: Amexica. 

We are all

Frenchies now. 

(Filched from Josh.)

And the good news is

they had to reach back to August to find a significant closing to illustrate trouble in RestaurantLand. 

Not fud, just uplifting

Cruelty-free at last.

So what would qualify

as major food poisoning? Four hundred people sickened, at least six killed, from one product from one plant? 

He's gone

but his damage continues. No labeling needed at farmers' markets. 

Citigroup

goes to Washington.

The talons

have landed, and it's great news for Dallas eaters and readers. 

(Thanks to Alfonso for the tip; I must be on a shit list.) 

Also not fud, just LOL

And right on, considering how many of us never saw the protests at the 2001 inauguration in our hometown paper. 

Not fud, just excellent

There are not enough pretzels in the world . . . 

All that rhum

wasted. So much for Jonathan Waxman as a flotation device: The place is closed and becoming Comida, as if Columbus needs another mediocre Mexican within those six blocks. 

Enough with the kitchen

On to the wine cellar now that the O'Doul's fool is gone. 

First we shoot

all the nutrition "experts." 

I don't recall

reading this in the MSM. The guy literally got away with murder. 

(Gleaned from Digby.) 

Good thing England

is not known for salsa. 

Not fud, just LOL

Shoes and more shoes. 

Not fud, just succinct

No one condenses better. 

Figures

The "mom" doesn't know how to do the Heimlich.

Not fud, just succinct

Unmitigated disaster.

Four-letter

food: fish.

No bad publicity

All about the bylines. 

Maybe we should bail out

some food factories rather than endless banks? And hire some WPA inspectors, maybe? 

(Filched from Josh.) 

New abbreviation

OFFS: Oh. For. Fuck's. Sake. Can these cretins not worry about the Palestinians at the very least?

Politics

makes strange table mates.

Not fud, just graphic

Now, how to fittingly dispose of the countdown clock?

Would only a cynic suspect

the brand names are going to get the best ratings? Looks that way in the photo -- now if they had shown raw carrots with the fiber thumbs-up I might have rolled right over.

Worse

than I imagined -- he's so rude he eats his own special food with guests. Couldn't Panchito have passed that along?

Easily the best

summation so far.

After the gold rush

Neil Young - Fork In The Road

Chowing down with the Chimp

It's got everything but Henry Kissinger and the cigars, but did he have to wait seven years to relate it?

(Filched from the Boy Wonder)

Sounds like

a plan.

Not fud, just graphic

No captions needed. Only legislators with consciences. 

Not fud, just "a steady diet

of dumb." 

I didn't care

until my consort got sucked into the saga; too bad he didn't just read this.

And exactly how

would washing and cooking have prevented puking, squitters, one death so far? 

Not fud, just incisive

Waking the dead.

And he only warned about energy

dependency 30 years ago.

Let's face it

everything is bee poop anymore. My big fear is reincarnation. . . . 

I doubt even the village

will take the idiot back. 

Let 'em eat

pretzels. Another heckuva job, Chimp. 

Not fud, just excellent

The Eartha Kitt connection.

(Gleaned from the Daily Dish.)

Sometimes you have to die

for people to realize you're alive. (Too bad the copy editor pierre'd out in the penultimate graf.) 

Pork

hangover. 

Not fud, just insightful

Key thought: "The U.S. does enough on its own to make itself the target of worldwide anger. Why must it take on Israel's battles as well?"

I'm gone

but not forgotten. That Meyer lemon posset was pretty great. 

Not fud, just appalling

But Turd Blossom insists he read a lot of books. 

One more argument

for keeping Alice out of DC.

Room service, the sequel

Two questions: Where is the Poodle sleeping that night? And is this really the proper reception for a guy who was greeted with "Shyme! Shyme!" everywhere we went in Australia as Iraq was being invaded?  

Not fud, just necessary

He did not keep us safe from 9/11. 

I hope there's a whole chapter

in the memoir on how bad taste just cannot be cured. Could they really not have left the choice to the new residents? The legacy mounts . . . 

My ears hurt

already -- the voice was bad enough; the strained copy will be so much more grating. 

Why can't he just pack up

his pretzels and go home already? (Oh, the fud? Room service.) 

Play-for-No-Pay

will print any old horse shit. Do as he says, not as he weighs. 

Squirrel

you say? 

And to think

we could have wound up with the Budweiser sugar baby.

(Thanks to Anima Mundi.) 

The future

If only. 

Not fud, just a reminder

of how we were all complicit through our passivity, our stupid belief that the system worked after Clinton survived impeachment. Go, Al Franken. 

Not fud, just a recipe

for blowback. 

And people accuse me

of being rough on fat people. 

As I said over at the base camp

Message: Shut your pie holes, Mothers.

You gotta wonder

whose post-holiday parties were more important. Calling Elizabeth Buttkisser. . . 

But what about

the fig and flatulence diet? 

Forgive them, Nature

It appears they have no idea what they're doing. Is there such a thing as nontoxic ash, considering the Tennessee spill? 

Voting

with your rum. The price is right, too. 

Not fud, just amusing

Although six centuries in Walmart would not be punishment enough for this "casualty."