Could the answer be

outsourcing the FDA to Europe? First, though, maybe we should kill all the lobbyists. 

One nation

under the bed. Of course, figures lie and liars figure, because this story mentions ground beef in passing, but the pants-wetting seems to be over produce. McDonald's, after all, is a constitutional right. 

Big chicken in cowhide boots

No 99-cent burgers wanted in South Korea. No tinhorn dictators, either. 

"Food safety is never an issue"

in the farm bill. Lobbyists get only what they pay for.

And don't even think about what factory farming does for pigs. Purell ain't gonna help.