Seen in the Hallmark aisle

A chef shopping for 400 get-well cards.

Brain bleach

for anyone who still has a naked Kissinger stuck in his/her cranial sieve. 

All that rhum

wasted. So much for Jonathan Waxman as a flotation device: The place is closed and becoming Comida, as if Columbus needs another mediocre Mexican within those six blocks. 

Figures

The "mom" doesn't know how to do the Heimlich.

Proving there is no such thing

as bad publicity, at least he got his pelt back today. 

Worse than cheesy

pasta sauces. 

Quality?

On the Food Network? 

Grey Poupon? Really?

Judging by the Guardian’s piece on chefs’ larder essentials, I’m in the wrong line of work. At least three of them mentioned Maldon salt, but those lucky Brits pay only two pounds for a box. We get socked for eight bucks. I wanna be the middleman with the 100 percent markup. Do they fly it over first class?