Jesus

wept.

I wish

this was better-written, but it needs to be said.

Forgive them, Nature

It appears they have no idea what they're doing. Is there such a thing as nontoxic ash, considering the Tennessee spill? 

This

sounds dangerous.

(Filched from here)

Reports of old media's death

may be exaggerated: This is the ultimate locavorism, and they were on it a year ago. Of course, without the limitless pages of the internets, a magazine would have a harder time pulling it off. 

(Filched from a cross between the two) 

My favorite party trick

has been both disseminated and demystified. It always amazes me how amazed people are when they see how fast you can chill a bottle of Champagne in an emergency (learned it from a sommelier friend eons ago who always stayed after our New Year's open house to make pasta when the glogg was gone and the warm gift bottles were lined up on the counter).

Grey Poupon? Really?

Judging by the Guardian’s piece on chefs’ larder essentials, I’m in the wrong line of work. At least three of them mentioned Maldon salt, but those lucky Brits pay only two pounds for a box. We get socked for eight bucks. I wanna be the middleman with the 100 percent markup. Do they fly it over first class?